The Beginning

 The day was a Thursday. December 23rd 1965.   The time was 5:06pm.  There was a little squeak as I hit the chilly air.  My parents had planned to name me Daphne, up to this moment.  My dad said he did not want anyone to call me daddy duck.   So the settled on Holly. 

My dad's family looked at me and said I looked like Barbara. The sister the did not discuss.  

When I was one week old I had stopped breathing, choking on mucus. Apparently I had a lot of mucus.  I don't know if it was because I was a month early or what.  But I essentially died. My parents called the paramedics/volunteer firefighters. 

My Uncle Andy's best friend Joe was one of the ones that responded. They had cleared the mucus and we're about to give me oxygen,when Joe noticed it was set for an adult, and pulled the mask(I am guessing at mask) away from my face as it was turned on. Thus, saving my tiny life. 

Mom always said I would sleep 14 hours at a time since birth. Dr Shelling told her not to wake me up for feedings. 

Because I knew have sleep apnea and one of my children had this, I am thinking my sleep patterns were off. Plus as a child I was awake a lot in the night.

Dr. Shelling also told my mom to pay more attention to my older sister Nancy and ignore me. As I was an infant I would not know I was ignored.

Here begins my relationship with rejection. 

Because I resembled Barbara my dad's family rejected me.   I was deemed unlovable. 

I was a small child and I felt I was "different" unlovable, unwanted. 

Mom says I was an in your face kid.  I may have been. 

My Aunt Helen at the time was my favorite aunt. She was my dad's oldest sister. I always felt loved and welcomed in her home.

At some point my mom had told Grandma "Meatball" and Tanta Nettie that if they could not treat me equally as my sister and brother they could not see any of us kids.

I don't know when this happened how old I was. I do know they came every Tuesday for tea and brought two bags of groceries. Oranges, Apples and cookies is all I remember. 

My mom said this was how they apologized.