I don't know what to title this just yet

 Growing up in a family that can tear their shirt and say you're dead to them, can really keep you on your toes when you're a small child.  It seemed a lot of the time I was not noticed if I was quite. I heard a lot.  The feeling of not belonging not fitting in never faded or went away.  I was different.  I would push until people got mad. I asked questions about everything and most of the time I was asked if I was writing a book. At five I did not understand that.  If I had something to say I was impatient to say it. I had to say it right then and there no matter who was talking. I'd interrupt them.  My dad would stop what ever was going and tell everyone to look at me to notice me. He would say I wanted to have all of the attention. I would become very embarrassed. And then I'd slink away. 

 The day was a Thursday. December 23rd 1965.   The time was 5:06pm.  There was a little squeak as I hit the chilly air.  My parents had planned to name me Daphne, up to this moment.  My dad said he did not want anyone to call me daddy duck.   So the settled on Holly.  My dad's family looked at me and said I looked like Barbara. The sister the did not discuss.   When I was one week old I had stopped breathing, choking on mucus. Apparently I had a lot of mucus.  I don't know if it was because I was a month early or what.  But I essentially died. My parents called the paramedics/volunteer firefighters.  My Uncle Andy's best friend Joe was one of the ones that responded. They had cleared the mucus and we're about to give me oxygen,when Joe noticed it was set for an adult, and pulled the mask(I am guessing at mask) away from my face as it was turned on. Thus, saving my tiny life.  Mom always said I would sleep 14 hours at a time since birth. Dr Shelling told her not to wake

 I was a young child maybe 4 years old. I was laying on the floor in my grandmother's living room. I think I might have been sleep.  "Grandpa" Rex had slipped his hand down my shorts. I can remember sliding away from him but his hand never came out. He was saying to relax grandpa would never hurt me he loved me.  I can honestly say at this point I don't recall what my thoughts or feelings were.  I can visualize this as it it was an out of body experience. I was laying on the golden rug. Against the wall was a brown plaid sofa. My feet were by a golden wing back chair. To my left was a picture window. Gram had a a table in front of the window with a gone with the wind milk glass lamp.  Golden curtains hung from the top of the window. I scooted across the the floor. I can see myself big eyed and sliding away on my back with him there. We got to the doorway. To the right was the door leading up stairs.  To the left was the hallway leading to the bedroom and dining room.